sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Randomize
