Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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