Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
