He uses pillows to masturbate.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
we're so committed to being not committed
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
