if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Randomize
