I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
