I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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