she looked like the before picture.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
They took my balls.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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