woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
