so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
