So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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