I love black thongs
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize