OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
how does that bad decision feel?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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