If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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