the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
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