Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
