Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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