Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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