I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
