Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Randomize
