who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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