I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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