I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
