I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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