he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
