He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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