No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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