I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
