i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
