You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Randomize
