I feel like abortions should bother me more
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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