I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
