Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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