your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
