i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize
