Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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