You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
