Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
