6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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