the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
