If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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