dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
