i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Ketchup is God's man juice
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
