and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
