Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Even my vagina gasped.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
