The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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