first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
