cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
