I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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