Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize