that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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