Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
