dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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