The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
