i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
