Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
wow bdsm is so cute
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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