Welp...herpes.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
