She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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