Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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