i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize