When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
