glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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