He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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